The More Things Change

Last night, a full moon followed The Greatest Kid On The Planet and me home from football practice. It was pretty amazing. We stopped on the road just short of our home to stare at it for a while. It was brilliant and just a little hazy, shrouded slightly by the clouds. And then, later on, in the middle of the night, The Greatest Kid came into my room and prodded me awake. He’d awoken to the moon shining through the windows in a sky as clear as it could be. “You have to see this,” he said, and we stood by the window at 2:00 a.m. and stared at it some more.

Those are the moments I love.

This week, I’ve been sitting on my back porch enjoying the chill in the air. A few short weeks ago, the temperature was in the nineties, and now we’re down to the sixties. But these are the days we live for because it’s perfect football weather. Around town, the trees are exchanging their summer glory for striking fall colors, but the view from my back porch hasn’t changed; everything is still as it was in the middle of June. But I know it’s only a matter of time before the golds and reds start to replace the green. And then, in the blink of an eye, they will take over the landscape in a kaleidoscope of autumn hues. They say, down here in the South, the weather can change overnight, and this year it feels like it did.

It’s funny how quickly it all changes. And yet, at just about this same time last year, I was sitting out here on my back porch doing the same thing I am today, content with where I am, but anticipating new things to come.

In 1849, French Novelist Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr penned the phrase “plus ca change, plus c’est la même chose” which translates to “The more it changes, the more it’s the same thing.” This is commonly phrased today as “The more things change, the more they stay the same.”

This saying came up in a conversation with friends earlier this week, and while it’s usually meant to express irony or sarcasm, as I sit here on my porch surrounded by so much that is new and, yet, so familiar, the words take my mind someplace else.

I once read if you’re stuck in a place in your life where you’re not meant to be, the Universe will make it so uncomfortable, unbearable even, that it becomes next to impossible to stay there. And you’ll be left with no other choice but to make a change.

I had this happen once, many years ago, when I made a decision for myself and The Greatest Kid. At the time, there was no other option, and as difficult as it was, I knew I was doing the right thing. But even so, change is never easy, especially for someone like me, or, at least, the me I used to be.

As a creature of habit from way back when, change has never been my favorite thing. But now, as I look at how far I have come from where I once was, I can see all the years in between and all of the things that came to pass that I never could have foreseen. And I see people and places and events, and all the life I might have missed, had I been too afraid to move forward and on.

I believe we need to be willing to let life and the Universe take us where we’re supposed to go. Otherwise, we risk staying somewhere we aren’t meant to be. Many of us, at some point, will find ourselves in a place we know we shouldn’t stay. And whether it’s a thought in our head that we push away, or a feeling of dread we’ve learned to ignore, or an inkling that comes and goes, in some way, we know when we’re being led to something different. And it’s up to us whether or not we choose to ignore it.

It’s not hard to understand why it’s easier to stay with what’s familiar than it is to move into the unknown. But maybe part of the problem lies in that we focus on what we think we’re losing, and we forget to get excited about everything that’s in store.

I’ve come to see there is excitement in not knowing what’s ahead, or, maybe, I’ve simply learned to trust the Universe. I believe wherever it takes us, it’s always to something greater. Or, more to the point, maybe it’s that I’ve learned to trust myself. In our home, we have a saying we repeat almost daily: It just keeps getting better and better. Once, when The Greatest Kid was younger, he asked me, “Do you think it is that way because we say it?” And I said, “Yes, I absolutely do.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” And I believe that this is true.

When we believe life brings us what we need when we need it, then the unknown isn’t so scary. Life will take us wherever we imagine. It’s not our job to figure out how, just to know that it will be. Maybe, when we learn to trust what lies ahead, and realize things will be the way we see them, then, perhaps, we’ll find that all we need to know is already inside us.

I think every event and every season in our life changes us in some way. This year, The Greatest Kid On The Planet is in middle school, and he’s taller and smarter, and his heart is bigger, if that’s possible, and he sure does eat a lot. And our life is busy and full with new things. And even though so many things are different, I find the more things change, the more we find comfort in what’s familiar. The other day, when The Greatest Kid was sitting with me, enjoying the warmth in our kitchen, he said, “It feels cozy in here like it’s Christmas.” And I knew just what he meant, even though I hated to admit it.

In our home, there is excitement in the air for everything that’s to come, but in the midst of that is a sense of calm and comfort for the familiarity of things that stay the same. I know the air outside will soon grow even colder, and the leaves will change their faces and fall. Then the days will become shorter, and we’ll fill them with friends and family and all the things we love. And I know that every twenty-nine days the moon will be full, and The Greatest Kid and I will always stop what we’re doing and stare.

Those are the moments I love.

I believe every day is a new adventure, and part of the fun is in not knowing what each one will bring. And while I believe we can trust in what lies ahead, we can also take comfort in knowing that, no matter what happens around us, or within us, there are some things that will never change.

M.C. Greene

This lovely photo of autumn foliage was taken by Timothy Eberly.

P.S. How Is Your View?