Mindful

The other day during lunch, my sister and I were talking about the recent appointment of Brett Kavanaugh to the United States Supreme Court. I won’t debate what I think or feel about Kavanaugh’s appointment or what he did or didn’t do. I think those are things better left to a different arena, and they weren’t the main topic of our conversation. Mostly, what we found interesting was the amount of time spent focusing on incidents which happened decades ago, and the importance those moments were ascribed to the present. All of it made me wonder how we define ourselves, and, when we take it upon ourselves to do so, others.

Looking back at my high school years is like trying to discern details from a faded memory. I see the setting and the faces, and the places we frequented. And there are occasions and events that come to mind, though very few stand out as noteworthy. My college days aren’t a whole lot different. The years begin to run together in a continuous blur of classes, and professors, and friends, and so forth. And while I remember some moments more clearly, for the most part, specific incidents allude me. I’m certain the things I experienced during those years helped shape me into the person I’ve become, but I’d be hard pressed to say that who I was then is the same person I am today.

I believe the same thing can be said for most of us. I would venture that, for many, who we were throughout our twenties, and even our thirties, was more about becoming who we would be, than who we would say we are now.

The conversation with my sister made me think about how we define ourselves, and just as importantly, how we define others. Do we allow for introspection and consideration of the total sum of our lives? Or do we concentrate, instead, on specific moments and incidents which happened at some point throughout our years, believing they tell us all we need to know? And if this is the case, which ones, really, are the ones that matter?